Today is June 30, 2021.  Just checked my Oracle laptop for any last minute emails…login not found.   At 5:00 PM PST some automated script erased all my access.   That’s how it ends….login not found.

It is funny how when switching jobs in the past I never noticed this.  I was moving on to something new and exciting.   My previous contacts would be a source of advice, people I could network with, hire, generate leads, continue to discuss ideas, etc.   Frankly, I never really quit a company, I just moved to another gig.   The cloud of friends and associates stayed with me.  Moving forward.   Onward to the next thing.   

Well this is different.  There is no next thing in technology for me.  I’m not off to build a new product, rescue a project, or build a consulting team.   I’m not joining an organization to solve the world’s next big business problem.   Nope, it is just me and my daughter’s dog sitting here in my man cave.   I’m drinking some gifted 18 yr old Scotch and trying to deal with the void I’ve created for myself.   The dog?   He’s hoping I’ll give him another treat.   My loyal staff.  

Despite the decades of planning this is hitting me pretty hard.   It is tough when so much of my life was defined by a career that was both challenging and so much fun.   Alice threw me a fantastic retirement party.   I received some wonderful emails from previous employees and employers.  Over my career I have done a few bad things, a lot of good things, improved the world in some small way, and reaped reasonable financial rewards doing so.   I’ve climbed the career ladder, reached my personal zenith, and lingered for a while.   Even though I no longer wished to climb the next rung, I was comforted knowing it was there above me.  Waiting.  Now there is no ladder. 

There is no spoon.   

For the first time since May, 1989 I am jobless with zero career prospects.  If I spend much time in my current mindset I’m pretty sure that bottle would soon be gone.   Thankfully I will not have much time to sulk.   In a few days I will be back on the Pacific Crest Trail and have far more basic worries to occupy me.

So, here’s the plan.   I just booked a flight to Medford, OR for Saturday night.   On Sunday morning, July 4th 2021, I’ll find somebody to take me to the PCT and start walking North.   I’ll have 2 months on the trail to figure out what comes next.